Your love is like a cyclone in a swamp and the weather's getting warmer

I have a few things to do on my agenda today, hopefully I successfully get them all done. I've got to go visit the Buddhist temple, do some research and maybe try a little bit of meditation. I've also go to try to get in contact with Millie since I'll be in her area and we haven't seen or spoken in months. Papers to write, projects to do, studying to apply myself to entirely. I hope I manage to get everything done in time. I don't feel like being hounded by stress when everything starts getting closer. What I've realized over time is that if I put myself to do something, I will always manage to get it done. I always get things done, somehow.

Everything works itself out in the end.

S and I have been talking about moving in together which would be really nice considering that we get along now more than ever and we spend a lot of time together. I think we're finally starting to grow up. It feels weird knowing we've been friends for so long because we want to be friends not as a result of geographical location.

Gloria sang

My mother sang a bit of this song to me as was requested by my grandmother for her to do so:

Yo tambien tuve 20 anos
y un corazon vagabundo,
yo tambien tuve alegrias
y profundos desenganos.
Yo tambien tuve 20 anos
que en mi vida florecieron
20 anos que a mi llegaron
se fueron y no volvieron.
Por eso desde la cumbre
de mis ardorosos anos,
miro pasar hoy la vida
sin que me haga bien ni dano,
porque tuve la fortuna
de vivirla sin enganos,
para contar sin nostalgia
que tambien tuve 20 anos.

Respiratory Infections

I've been sick for a little over three weeks so today I finally decided to pay a visit to the doctor. I'm not one to make appointments much less an appointment in which by the time the date rolls around I'd be deep in the throes of death. As a result, I drove myself over to the Urgent Care facility on Calle Ocho. The building is frustratingly cold the way a hospital should be and the staff is wonderful. They're all very nice and polite. This is the second time I go there (last time was for the blindness that was invading my eyes aka a severe case of ignored/I was living in denial pink eye) and the staff was equally as welcoming as the first.

My only issue with the center was that after my first visit I got a cute Get Well card signed by the nurses and doctors that saw me. I'll blame it on the economy and not on some sort of Baptist conspiracy against me in which they make me feel unloved and neglected like my third grade teacher did so well. The doctor checked my lungs (functioning), listened to my heart (beating well enough), and ultimately took a buccal swab to check for strep throat (they did this last time too). Fortunately, I do not have strep throat or mono, which Roly was incredibly quick to diagnose me with after I told him to cease and desist his love for Average White Girls. All I have is an Upper Respiratory Infection that forces me to be bed-ridden for two days all the while over dosing on Motrin and antibiotics and watching horrible movies like Twilight (for the fourth time).

I'm sort of frustrated at the way certain things turned out, but at the same time I've learned not to waste more than a few minutes of energy (or five depending how long it took me to write that letter) on those that I wish I could verbally berate. I mailed a letter off today, and I'm kind of hoping it gets lost. I wonder if things ever really truly get lost in the mail.

I've been listening to The Mountain Goats, they're lulling me to sleep. I'd listen to Bob Dylan but he just makes me cry.

Lua

I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight

-
My heart's been too heavy lately, I need to get away again.

Birthday Party

Last night was my birthday party. I think 50 or more people were there throughout the night. I have a headache and eating was a bad idea. I just want to sleep. I loved last night and I loved Thursday. I wasn't aware that birthdays were supposed to be this fun and nice. Last year was horrible, being nineteen was horrible. I'm not quite twenty yet, but I feel like it's been celebrated enough already. I really loved everything about the past couple of days. God, I'm rambling about nothing.

Happy Birthday to me (and popeye and eddie)!

Blogs

Are feeling sort of passe to me, maybe it's time to live and let die?
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Today was a nice day.
I had missed seeing Popeye and Stephanie.

Creeps

I hate it when this feeling creeps into my head.

Polaroid

I'm really thinking about buying some polaroid film off of ebay in bulk. It would probably be cheaper than buying five new cartridges. It makes me sad to think that some of my favorite things are being phased out or really that things are being phased out in general. Polaroid is dead, Sparks will no longer be producing cans of toxic, orange colored alcoholic energy. Maybe this all makes me sad because I know that times are really changing as a result of either the recession or just technological advances (and because I'm getting old). I also know that at Sunset Place they are slowly phasing out the way you actually pay a person once leaving the garage. They are switching to a purely computerized system. I really sympathize for the people that will lose their jobs, but I suppose the computer system is something that will eventually pay itself off. There is, of course, reasoning behind everything.

I've been listening to Taylor Swift a lot. There are a few things that I'm really worried about but I'm not going to think about them until they're right in front of my face and I honestly have to deal with it. I know that everything will be okay, eventually.

Harvest of Hope

Oh jeez. I got home from St. Augustine this morning around 5 something only to find my entire living room filled with kids. My cousin crashed at my house with 7 of his friends from North Carolina. They were all really nice and got drunk with my folks the night before. Harvest of Hope was so intense. I can't even begin to explain it or try to really describe the even, but I'll try and hope to keep it short. There were more than 2,000 people at HOH, I made a really horrible underestimation of 500 at one point and everyone laughed at me. I actually don't feel like writing about this today, I'm sleepy. I want to see Grand Buffet again.

Atlanta, a real (sort of) post

Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta. What can I say? The day after The Black Lips show was Scion Rock Fest. I decided to skip that in order to do some shopping and wander around town by myself. I ended up at some bar called the Porter. I had lunch and sat around getting drunk all day. I rode the Marta after dropping Roly's car off because I didn't want to drive too drunk around ATL. Finally, Roly came to find me at the bar where I made friends with a huge group of lesbians that got the Sous Chef from the bar I fell in love with to ask me for my number. Oh my. We went to a Rockabilly club and some stupid Skull bar (vortex). We got back to the hostel pretty late and I woke up really hung over and confused. We skipped town at around 2 and after driving five hours, Roly and I finally decided to switch only to find that he lost his contact. I ended up having to drive the entire way, though all I had wanted to do was spend the night in Tallahassee and then drive early the next morning. I was really, really mad. Especially since I had to drive through all of Georgia during a blizzard. All in all, I loved everything about the trip.

Tomorrow: St. Augustine.