Santa Margherita Monday

I've tried to begin this post five different ways, each one avoiding the obvious fact that I haven't posted in here in such a long time. Maybe I haven't had anything to say or maybe I've been avoiding all the things I've been needing to say. Either way, here I am. I've been working out a lot and really trying to get into tip top shape, yet again here I am with an empty, oversized wine glass on one side of my laptop and a half empty bottle on the other.
I plugged in my old iPod and hit shuffle. It's always such a surprise to hear something I used to love but no longer have a taste for easing its way from the speakers and into my ears. I can't help but tap my foot although the affection is different. I guess the same can be said for people. There's always going to be a sense of attachment and affection towards some but the luster fades, just like with the discovery of a new novel band or artist. At first, the adoration is strong and blinding but eventually the song gets old, worn, weathered and is no longer what it once was. You let the song fade into the back of a playlist and occasionally, casually give it a listen for the fuck of it but by then all it is, is part of a memory.

Not About Love

The early cars
Already are
Drawing deep breaths past my door
And last night's phrases
Sick with lack of basis
Are still writhing on my floor

And it doesn't seem fair
That your wicked words should work
In holding me down
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round

Conversation once colored by esteem
Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for pun (blood?)
Took a vacation, my palate got clean
Now I could taste your agenda
While you're spitting your cud

And it doesn't make sense
I should fall for the kingcraft of a meritless crown
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

What is this posture
I have to stare at
That's what he said when I'm sittin' up straight
Change the name of the game 'cause he lost
And he knew he was wrong but he knew it too late
But I'm not being fair
'Cause I chose to listen to that filthy mouth
But I'd like to choose right
Take all the things that I've said that he stole
Put 'em in a sack
Swing 'em over my shoulder
Turn on my heels
Step out of this sight
Try to live in a lovelier life

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

have I been

:o

We thought that summer would last us forever
Going steady was just something you do
I didn't know much about love
I learned that from you

Now those were some good times
Lately they don't seem to last
I guess I'm not nearly as strong as a drink in your glass
And the nights just get later

honest?

blind-faith is reserved for the religious.

honest.

I had something much longer, but I erased it.

Sleep's Been Hiding